I’m writing this today because I’ve been asked a lot about sharing my experience in being in a long distance relationship. The first thing that comes to my mind whenever someone brings it up is: it’s super hard 😭
Many think that “meh. It’s fine as long as they talk all day long, what’s the big deal about it?”
No, it’s not fine. Being physically away from your partner could be devastating. Not “being” there whenever they come home after a tough day at work is not something easy to deal with. Not being able to share every sad or happy moment with them is not cool.
To be very honest, I never believed in long distance relationships. Especially for the people who barely knew each other. The idea behind dates is to get to know the other, and with that not being an option due to distance, I don’t know how strangers manage to keep a long distance relationship on hold.
Fortunately, getting to know someone made me realize that long distance relationships do exist. My boyfriend is 5 years older than me, we knew each other from my mom’s hometown (his hometown) since I was a kid but never really were in contact until I graduated high school. Weird thing that our relationship actually began when he was away, working abroad. I don’t know how we hit it off and started texting basically everyday and bla bla bla we started hanging out whenever he came and before we even knew it, we’re actually a couple 🙊
I had no idea how this was going to work. I was really surprised by how cool I was when he left for the first time since we were a thing. Little did I know that this guy is going to mean a lot to me one day. I was happy we both had no previous experiences in long distance relationships so it was kind of a journey to discover this new relationship.
10 months and we’re still going stronger than ever, but with definitely essential keys that make every long distance relationship work.
- Trust: you have to blindly trust your partner. You can’t question everything they do. It’s something mutual that you both have to insure security to each other. There are gonna be loads of times where they’re going out with their friends or even with their girl friends (same goes for girls and going out with guy friends) yet, if you trust them enough, you’d have a peaceful state of mind. No doubts, nor complaints. Leave your trust issues away ❌❌❌❌
- Support: sometimes, the distance can wreck the shit out of you. Patience is the key. Always lift each other up whenever you feel like you’ve had enough. You both have to cheer one another up because at the end of the day, having each other is the only thing that matters 🤗
- Respect: as a girl, I’m a bit annoying sometimes 🙉🙈🙊. I can get clingy but I’m glad my man understands what the hell I’m going through, so I definitely respect his space. He has a life of his own just like you do too. You can’t go all day texting each other. This is the biggest lie anyone can ever tell you. You don’t spend all day all night contacting your boyfriend/girlfriend. That would be very boring, no matter how much you’re deeply in love with someone. Jesus, married couples need to have some space!! 🤦🏼♀️
- Talk: and talk and talk. Always express how you feel and what you’re dealing with. In such circumstances, all you have is words. Trust me, a simple “you’re cute” can brighten their whole day –even when they’re mad (I’ve tried it haha). Ego set aside, there’s no place in here for who texts the other first. Double texting is definitely fine, as long as you don’t annoy them too much – that would be creepy 🤪🤪🤪
- Call often: Steve Jobs created FaceTime for a reason 📱
- Send pictures: without any prior notice, send random pictures to remind your partner of how pretty you are –just kidding. But seriously, send pictures. They’re cute and motivating 🤳🏼
- Solve your problems immediately: talking about the conflicts you have is very important. Never go to bed angry with each other, questioning if you both still matter to each other. It’s very normal to have fights with your partner, actually it’s abnormal if you don’t. But the thing is, you have to get through any obstacle you face. You’re already away from each other, you don’t need any silly reason to basically suffocate your relationship. Keep talking until you find a solution to everything 🙆🏼♀️🙅🏼♀️
- Share your daily thoughts: there’s nothing prettier than having someone who wants to know how your day was. When it comes to me, I elaborate a lot with loads of details 💁🏼♀️. Maybe because I find it as a way of breaking the distance and making my partner witness my stories as if he’s already here 🤷🏼♀️
- Send cute stuff with them when they’re leaving: I smothered my boyfriend with printed out pictures of us, very well framed and beautifully done – I think it’s time to smother him with other things that belong to me, but anyways I’ll do some research 🤔
- Keep yourself busy: there are going to be times when your partner is quite busy. Hours could pass by without a single text. So you have to keep yourself away from the negative energy and the bad thoughts or doubts. Read a book. Study a new language. Surf the internet, start a blog maybe idk haha!
- Last but not least, believe that long distance relationships do exist, and they do work! 💪🏼
For the readers who’re already in one, I know how you feel when your partner has to leave. I know that you could be crying your eyes out knowing that they’ll be back soon but refusing to believe that the happy moments with the best person on Earth have to stop for now until you meet again later. Trust me when I say that distance is nothing when a person means a lot. It’s definitely worth it when it’s with the right person because it’s better to be with them than not to have them in your life at all!
My long distance relationship is growing fondly and stronger each and every day. I’ve said it before and I’m saying it again; if it ever ends, distance would definitely not be the reason behind the break up.